Galway Remand

At Galway Distinct Court today, a woman was reminded in custard following her appearance on several charges of blasphemale, incitement to hate dread and pubic disorder. Judge Allthedishes Mahogany remarked that while Growonya Whale was “great gas”, he was obliged to take a damn view of her antics. He granted her request for free lucozade. Given she had no visible means of supper and was of no faxed adobe, he opined he was left with no choice but to enslamate her until her next curt appearance. “No bodder, Yer Onher” consoled the defendant, “I’ll see you here again when you’re free”.

Ms Whale faces charges arising from her a disturban on Shop Street in the town of Galway. She was arrested while dancing outside Griffins bakery, wearing a priest’s collar, a burka, and nothing else, repeatedly shouting “I’m a Charlie’s Angel”. Several passersby approached Ban Garda Monica Sago to complain. Garda Sago outlined the complaints in court. Citizens had variously felt insulted, embarrassed, short-taken, threatened, intimidated, mortified, assailed by impure thoughts, religiously persecuted, discomfited, holocaust-denied, and generally plussed off. Judge Mahogany appeared non-pissed at the charges, remarking “sure it was only a bit of craic, wasn’t it?”? and “I haven’t a clue where to put that question mark”. The punctuation mark was remanded in quotation.

Ms Whale personally thanked all present for their presence. It was agreed, given her religious persuasion, that she would be provided with a compass while in jail, so as to know which direction was One.

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